Micheal O Muircheartaigh masterpieces

'In the first half they played with the wind. In the second half they
played with the ball.'


'... and Brian Dooher is down injured. And while he is, i'll tell ye a
little story. I was in Times' Square in New York last week, and I was
missing the Championship back home. So I approached a newsstand and I
said 'I suppose ye wouldn't have the Kerryman (Paper) would ye?' To
which, the Egyptian behind the counter turned to me and he said 'do you
want the North Kerry edition or the South Kerry edition?'... he had
both...so I bought both. And Dooher is back on his feet...'

'Anthony Lynch the Cork corner back will be the last person to let you
down,  his people are undertakers.'


'I saw a few Sligo people at Mass in Gardiner street this morning and
the omens seem to be good for them, the priest was wearing the same
colours as the Sligo jersey! 40 yards out on the Hogan stand side of the
field Ciaran Whelan goes on a rampage, it's a goal. So much for
religion.'


'Colin Corkery on the 45 lets go with the right boot. Its over the bar.
This man shouldn't be playing football. He's made an almost Lazarus-like
recovery from a heart condition. Lazarus was a great man but he couldn't
kick points like Colin Corkery.


'1-5 to 0-8.. well from Lapland to the Antarctic, that's level scores in
any man's language.'


'Pat Fox has it on his hurl and is motoring well now... but here comes

Joe Rabbitte hot on his tail ...... I've seen it all now, a Rabbitte
chasing a Fox around Croke Park!


'I see John O Donnell dispensing water on the sideline. Tipperary,
sponsored by a water company. Cork sponsored by a tae company. I wonder
will they meet later for afternoon tae.


'Teddy looks at the ball, the ball looks at Teddy.'

'Danny "The Yank" Culloty. He came down from the mountains and hasn't he
done well.'


'He grabs the ball, he's on the 50...... he's on the 40.... he's on the 30.......... he's on the ground.'
 

'He kicks the ball lan san aer, could've been a goal, could've been a
point...... it went wide.'


'Stephen Byrne with the puck out for Offaly....Stephen, one of 12....all
but one are here to-day, the one that's missing is Mary, she's at home
minding the house..... and the ball is dropping i lar na bpairce....' (in the middle of the park)


'Pat Fox out to the forty and grabs the sliothar (ball), I bought a dog from
his father last week. Fox turns and sprints for goal, the dog ran a
great race last Tuesday in Limerick. Fox to the 21 fires a shot, it goes
to the left and wide..... and the dog lost as well.'

'Sean Og o Hailpin.... his father's from Fermanagh, his mother's from
Fiji, neither a hurling stronghold.'

'Teddy McCarthy to John McCarthy, no relation, John McCarthy back to
Teddy McCarthy, still no relation.